I'm tired of people judgin' what's real hip hop...

The internet is killing the album. Puff Daddy came up in conversation today; it went something like this:

Other dude: Have you heard the new 50 Cent?

Me: Yeah, not so good. But the remix to "I Get Money" rules. Jay Z and Puff Daddy kill it!

Other dude: Puff Daddy?!?! Do you like Puff Daddy??? (condescending chuckle)

Me: Here's the thing with Puff Daddy, there is not an entire album I can stand, but he has some killer singles that I never get tired of...

Other dude: Blah Blah Blah...

The internet is great for Puff Daddy. All the albums are disposable; but in the age of the mp3/single, who needs the Biggie shout outs, the occasional Busta Rhymes yelling, and pretty much all of the Diddyness. I have put together the Essential Puff Daddy, all that your ears need.

1. "I'll Be Missing You" - I don't have ice water in my veins. He was missing his friend and I believe the sentiment was real. Best use of a Police sample?


2. "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" - Welcome to the world of the sane, Mase (little did we know your stay here would be so brief). Great sample of a sample.


3. "It's All About the Benjamins" - Hands down the standout of Puff Daddy's career' his "Beat It", his "Helter Skelter", his "Satisfaction". It's all downhill from here (just as Jackson, McCartney, or Jagger).


4. "Bad Boy for Life" - Where did that guitar line come from!?!? It shouldn't work but it does. If they made a hip hop remake of Star Wars (like they did with Brandy and Queen Latifah in Cinderella), this would be Darth Vader's Theme.


5. "Last Night(One of the 5 Remixes from my Ipod) - Just when you thought MTV Making the Band had eliminated his ability to create another classic. Down, but not out. The only way I could have liked this more is if Prince actually (vice telepathically) produced it.

Puffy-All That Matters

What I believe: I believe Puff Daddy has created a handful of timeless singles perfect for short attention spans. I believe "Puff Daddy" not "Diddy". I believe he will have two more "classics" before he goes the MCA/Beastie route of the Dalai Lama. I believe his album with Ravi and Anoushka Shankar will yeild one of these new classics. I believe Puff Daddy can be relatively effective in small doses in remixes of other's songs.

50 Cent featuring Jay Z and Puff Daddy - I Get Money (Forbes 123 Remix)

Ask me if I'm a grape.

I have discovered the meaning of life.

It exists in YouTube (obviously). Watch below and feel the existential questions of mortality evaporate from all dimensions that are inhabited by sentient beings. In layman's terms: This rocks.



Ask me if I'm a grape.

Darth Vader = Bob Dylan

I watched "Factory Girl" this week. It was a good one time watch. Best part: Vader as Dylan. Worst part: Vader as Dylan.

I refuse to believe that Dylan was that noble and poetic in real life. This movie was made by a Dylan fan. For a minute I thought I was watching "Oh God: Book IV" with Vader/Dylan in the George Burns/God role.

I also refuse to believe that Warhol was that big of an a-hole. How could he be; he invented art.

Here's a song that supposedly was inspired by Dylan's dalliance with Edie. Ciao, baby!

Bob Dylan - Leopard Skin Pillbox Hat

Ask me if I'm a grape.

She's a little Runaway.

Stylus has posted a rumination on The Runaways' non-hit "Dead End Justice". Great. Awesome song. What about the hip kids that have heard of The Runaways but haven't heard The Runaways.

Where do they get this music? At their local Musicland/Record Town/Camelot? Tower Records? Retailers are going the way of the dinosaur and the stuff is mostly out of print.

Mom and Pop Shop? If you can find a used store AND you have a turntable AND they have the vinyl, you better be ready to pay some real cash (ah yes, but the pride of ownership...).

I guess itunes is the way to go, right? No such luck. Of all The Runaways' offerings on itunes, I'm afraid "Dead End Justice" is not one of them.

Music is more accessible now than it ever has been, except it isn't. The beauty of "the jams" is in the details, and "Dead End Justice" is definitely "a detail" in the short lived career of The Runaways. The beauty of "the jams" cannot be measured by how many remixes of Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" you have on your ipod (mine total 5, the Bamboo Remix being my favorite), but in the rock details that are available to those that crave them. The set up is always more interesting than the payoff (Batman Begins: training to be Batman > Batman fighting the Scarecrow thingy). What am I trying to say? Oh yeah...

The Runaways-Dead End Justice

Ask me if I'm a grape.

Beyonce Fell Down.

I know it's old news but I had to "pop my grape" with something. This photo seemed like a good start since it has been lurking in my hard drive for a couple of months in search of a purpose.

Sort of like: "...why did you have to go and pick 50 eggs?!?!"
"It just seemed like a nice round number."

We all fall down sometimes, even Beyonce. You must not know about me - but we do. You're irreplaceable; we all are. I like to think of it less like a fall and more like Glamour Breakin'. Don't ring the alarm, this isn't going to be a hiphop/RnB blog (not that there's anything wrong with that). What will it be: we'll find out in time.

Beyonce-Irreplaceable(Irreemplazable)

Ask me if I'm a grape.