Ask Me If I'm a Grape: December 2007

I can't do "Top 10 Albums". The internet has ruined me and/or albums. Albums no longer exist (with a few exceptions to be noted at a later date). My musical landscape has been reduced to a series of 3 to 5 minute aural explosions. If the song is longer than 5 minutes, I'm looking for my next fix.

I can't call it Top 10 Singles. I'm pretty sure some these songs were not proper "singles". I don't listen to the radio, so every song I hear is a potential single on MiPod.

I now present my Top 10 of the year (as of right now, this very second) in no particular order:

Rihanna - Umbrella The musical equivalent of crack. Umbrella is my "Hips Don't Lie" of 2007: there are 6 different remixes/versions of this song residing in miPod, including a Diplo Remix, Acoustic, and a Cinderella Remix. This song makes like Mat Kear ney. Undeniable.

MIA - Paper Planes What's left to say about this that hasn't already been said. It makes like LL and delivers 14 shots to the dome.

Ryan Adams - The Sun Also Sets I'm not sure why I like this one over the rest of singles off a perfect album. It hits me like a brick. It's got more sadness than Robert John's eyes.

Kid Rock - Blue Jeans and a Rosary Let me qualify this up front by saying "I know it's kinda cheesy and I'm OK with that". This is a classic sing-along tale of redemption. Perfect for those days when you feel like nobody cares, because you only really need one person to care. I would be proud to hold my cellphone in the air at a concert during this song! Chuck Norris tears up when he hears this song.

Kanye West - The Good Life (Ft. T-Pain) Less gimmicky than Stronger and positive in a really believable way. Kanye (we're cool like that - I can call him by his first name) seems genuinely thankful for the hand that life has dealt him. And the PYT sample is genius like Stephen Hawking.

Bat for Lashes - What's a Girl To Do This song feels like a lonely cold winter night (with kick-ass BMX riding, animal suit wearing ghosts following you around your boring midwest town). Natasha Khan's voice is sweet like Krispy Kreme.

Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again Classic smooth soul that is not normally my cup of tea. I guess I'm old because I feel the unsuppressable desire to refer to this as a "timeless classic".

Eddie Vedder - Hard Sun (Ft. Corin Tucker) Eddie Vedder comes in like a grape separated from his Jam joined by Sleater Kinney Brand Peanut Butter. Two of the most distinct voices in music. Two great tastes that taste great together. The rest of the Into the Wild Soundtrack is a giant nut filled turd.

Against Me - Thrash Unreal It's kinda like shout singing but it is impossible not to shout sing along. I think I read somewhere that this song is about addiction but whatever... It's no more or less powerful than any other pop song on miPod. The vocals are like a shouting, angry, young Robert Goulet (R.I.P).

Robyn with Kleerup - With Every Heartbeat I don't really know when this was released, but for miPod I got it in 2007. I think it was officially released somewhere in the world in 2007 so it qualies for my list. Former teen pop sensation makes good (or something like that).

Honorable Mentions: Elliot Yamin - Wait For You, Jay Z - Hello Brooklyn, Paramore-Misery Business, White Stripes - You Don't Know What Love Is, 50 Cent Ft. P Diddy and Jay Z - I Get Money (Remix), Justice - D.A.N.C.E., Guns and Roses-Chinese Democracy, DJ Khaled-We Takin' Over, NIN-Survivalism, Dizzee Rascal-Pussyhole, Omarion Ft. Usher-Icebox, Silversun Pickups-Lazy Eye, Amy Winehouse-You Know I'm No Good

Upon finishing this list, I realized there were a handful of start to finish perfect albums:

Kanye West-Graduation
Bat for Lashes-Fur and Gold
Ryan Adams-Easy Tiger
Alicia Keys-As I Am
Against Me-New Wave
Robyn-Robyn

Ask me if I'm a grape.